i'm tired....

today all in a sudden, things changed...
or maybe not to say in a sudden...
i realised changes since last week..
since chemis, the first period of saturday...
since the difficult invitations for movies..
and also since the movies...

i know he's never mine...
i should not act like this...
but before you guys blame me for this kind of behaviour..
ever think of what made me become like this?
before you guys fucking blame me for acting like a cry baby... please think!
who gave me hope?
and who gave me hope even when they know it's already impossible..
then i'm like a freaking dumb ass still dreaming in my own world?

or maybe it all started with that fucking wrong sent message!
yea like i wanted to...
i was just expressing my damn feeling la...
its not even important it doesn't even mean anything la!

you guys know how it feels like or not?
given more and more hopes and all in a sudden the truth came out..
i've already repeated so many times. it's a routine..
it's not about love or not..
is just it's already a part of my life...
all the messages all the movies all the whatever shit it is..
how am i suppose to accept it straight away?
if you're not happy with my attitude now then just leave me alone la!!!!!!
don't blame me for nothing

and before you guys fucking blame me for anything
think please!
when you have problems or whatever
did i ever treat you guys like this before?
i've listened to every single words although they were actually shits..
then what's so wrong for you to listen to mine now?
just let me spit it all out cannot meh!!!
BE FAIR can?

i'm already sad enough la...
then i need to face these kind of shit blame-ings again!
you don't even feel sorry meh!
these are for the fuckers...

**i'm sorry for being so rude but i dont care because you're treating me rude too!




as for my beloved babes...
sorry that i'm really so not okay these few days..
i'm glad that you guys really understand...
what i wanna say is
i really love you guys for being so supportive la..
especially huijun :)
thanks for being honest with me...
i can't really express how i feel la i can't find the correct vocab for all these..
but i'm having strong confidence that i'm gonna be fine soon
so don't worry okay...
just leave me alone when i cry or what...
yea i admit anyway i'm really a cry baby..
cryin helps a lot =.=
and bulat! thanks for accompanyin me all the time without complaining a single word :)

i love my babes
huijun bulat egg chen ai minyin =)