memories :)

yesterday after school,
after havin two pizzas =.=
fam and i went to the basketball court... we sat there for quite long then we started chattin...



i never think that we will talk about him...
ya him..
all my memories just come back in a sudden.
then i realised i really do miss him more than anything..


two years ago, (or maybe three i dont know..)
27-12-07..
this him suddenly asked me can i be his girlfriend
ya i know he's not serious at all just for fun and because he's too bored or what
then i said.. go out together lo at 31st.. new year celebration mah..
okay then yea we went out,
i remember we were all together...
all couples.. although i know he dont think we were by that time
but i actually do like him...

i thought after that day then we will really be like couple lo
but then... nothing special at all.. sms call what also none..
then the day after that i told mummy about ohm and pai studyin in LIS...
then mummy said "why don't you come back to study?"
so i was like my god... should i?
after hours then i told mummy okay la... I'll move back!
speed leh..
the next day again i went for registration exam lo..
then i was like so happy and me,ohm and pai went to uk..

okay when we're errrrr.. shopping =.=
then i forgot who said he's going to move to our school..
which is the school that i just moved in laa
shocked nih!
SAME CLASS somemore o!
yup i was happy la by that time...
but i know he's not =.=
maybe he thinks that duh.. need to see her again =.=


then school starts....
i didn't really talk to him also and he never talks to me @.@
i sms him.. never reply =.=
i don't understand la are we even related... duh
then sure very sad one mah right...
cause i like him what!
see him talking with everyone with happy face when he saw me he will be like shit face..
jeeez
so i was moody and sad almost everyday la in school..
so from days to days...
my face everyday like shit..
sure guys saw also will sien one la...
so he said errr better break la..
i was like so damn f**king sad la that time =.=

yea so sadness continues...
i know dear ohm helped me so much to tell him that i really like him or what
aiya but if he doesn't like me also no use one la

so...
until this one day in March 2008..
he finds me back..
sms loo..
then i asked him to change his number to digi (okay this is not a point)
but i'm happy mah cause he really changed wor!
first time treat me so good what =.=
now think back i also think that i'm lame la i'm sorry @.@


then we're a couple again!!! :)
i remember...
everyday after school..
i told my mum that i'm having extra classes...
but actually i just wanna stay back and watch him swim..
oh damn he's really hot when he swims! xD
in class... we even sit together
spent like almost every hour together everyday...
recess, before school, after school, english, maths, science...
he's always with me...
the cutest part of him is when i teach him maths...
he will be like so confuse and he was really so cute! :)

of course
weekends... shopping together.. watch movies in his house... eat food that his mama cook.. and cook maggi together
all these freaking sweet memories...
all appeared in my head yesterday...
everything was so nice that year...

until 2009
i moved back to kk...
yea it's my decision..
don't ask me why...
it was a hard decision.. between studies and him..
of course i chosed studies....
because i know if i continue to be in labuan.. my future will be like shit =.=

so of course it was hard for us too...
i know he was damn worried about me..
but yea this is kk =.=
i was so so so so so so busy..
i have no time for him..
it's not that i don't miss him...
my room mates know too that i really miss him like hell.. sometimes cry somemore....
but what to do? i was really busy =.=

maybe he can't stand that i have no time for him la
then things start to change...
he starts to think that i dont care about him and i dont miss him at all...
so we started quarreling...
it was like every phone calls ended with fights...
i know it's because he's worried..
but i just cant stand it i cant deal with all these quarreling every night...
even until valentines day
we quarreled for the same reason again =.=

then finally by that night...
i really can't stand anymore..
and so.. we broke up :(
i cried like hell the whole night that day..
cryin with yanni beside me...
then the whole week i was actually really too sad for other things...
i can't focus in class..
i can't focus in everything..

okay but then we still did sms la after that...
many things happened...
we coupled back and broke up again too..
and every breaking up was all my decisions
and also the same reasons..

until this year...
we were together again after we broke up for almost a year..
but until the end.. we still broke up..
again for the same reason...

yea i admit... i do miss him...
but what to do?
everything will still be the same...
i'm here and he's there..
and plus i'm tryin hard to forget everything...
and i'm actually almost reaching success..

just suddenly yesterday we talked about him..
all the memories...
i know for myself in the bottom of my heart there's still a he..
i can't forget him no matter how long and how hard i try..
he'll always be a big part of my memories..

now...
i heard that he's gonna leave.. very soon...
and i know he doesn't want to
but it's still the truth... he's still leavin.
i hope i can see him once more before he leave...
at least for one last time..
or at least let me hug him once..
because i really really do miss him...
i know i'm not allowed to find him
there were so many times that i wanted to find him but i'm just to afraid to do so..
i'm scared that we will fight again...
because it makes me really really sad if we fight..

so... the only think i can do is to hope that he's fine...
he started smoking and drinks a lot after we broke up...
i really hope that he will be the him that i know in form three again...
i want to see the funny and cute him again..
i wanna see him smile..
i don't know when will he move
but i hope he can be happy after moving to kl..
sincerely wish him luck...
and most of all..
i love him very very much... :)